my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
