She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
