Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize