We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
