Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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