I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
