i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
