just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
