It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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