I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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