forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
