I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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