Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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