i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
