Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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