I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
