There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You are a genius and a whore.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
