dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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