it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
