PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
