Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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