what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
