Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
