Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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