hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
vagina is talking i cant
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
