So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I haven't been this sober since birth.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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