I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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