love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
