you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
