I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
