Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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