I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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