so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
