She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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