Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
