I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
