I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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