Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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