I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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