I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
