I'm jealous of your bromance
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
