Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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