Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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