Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
