so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
