quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You've changed since you got that strap on
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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