Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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