he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
