O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
