When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
