I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Your topless pictures make me question reality
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
