he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
