the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
