so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
