You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
All the doctor said was why
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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