Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
