Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
foreskin is a definite game changer
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
